What is a Life Well Lived?

Several years ago, I read in the newspaper that one of our clients, Mrs. M., had passed away. The loss of any of our clients is always a moment of mixed emotions for me. But on this day, there was another layer…a true sense of frustration. Mrs. M., whom I had treasured visiting when delivering her meals, had led a remarkable life of adventure, family, and achievement. Why was it only now, reading her obituary, that I learned these stories? Why had she passed without my hearing from her about the lessons she had learned throughout her life, which was indeed so well lived?

At Senior Citizens, Inc. (SCI), our vision is for everyone to have a life well lived. I am a little embarrassed to say that while I have always embraced this vision, it was the loss of Mrs. M. that truly brought this ideal to life to me and made me want to define what constitutes a life well lived. Is it the things we accomplish? The places we travel and the adventures we have? The mark we leave on our community? The number of lives we touch? 

Even after a lot of contemplation, I still don’t have a definitive answer. And maybe there isn’t just one. However, there are some commonalities, at least according to Age Wave, one of the nation’s foremost thought leaders on issues related to an aging population. In 2018, they surveyed more than 3,000 adults in the United States with a focus on those 55 and older and asked them what defined a life well lived.

Here’s what they said and didn’t say: although some defined a life well lived by the measures of money, fame, and power, those numbers were in the definite minority. A little over a quarter – 27 percent – said career success defined a life well lived, whereas 10 percent mentioned “being wealthy” and a minuscule 3 percent mentioned being well-known or famous.

However, the number one way people defined having a life well lived is “having family and friends that love me.” A whopping 94 percent said that, and 75 percent mentioned making a positive impact on society. These answers stayed the same regardless of socioeconomic conditions: 70 percent of those with $5 million or more in assets said “the memories I’ve shared with my loved ones” is how they most want to be remembered; 71 percent of those with $50,000 or less in assets answered similarly.

While each of us has different values and beliefs regarding what it means to have “a life well lived” and set different barometers for our own well-lived life, we can ensure our success by taking the time to learn about the lives of others, by celebrating them, and by gleaning lessons to incorporate into our own journey.

This is one of the reasons that SCI created the “Legends, Leaders, and Life Well Lived” award. Our goal is to celebrate folks in our own community who can serve as examples for us all. As with previous years, we began by asking the public to nominate people who personified for them a “life well lived.” It was a simple nomination form – just tell us why you feel your nominee exemplifies this ideal. The response was overwhelming and, needless to say, the selection of our awardees for this year was an incredibly difficult task.

I am so pleased to share that we will be celebrating three deserving honorees this year: Dr. Joe Buck, G.H. “Herbie” Griffin, and Don Kole. Without a doubt, they all personify lives well lived. They have built their lives around caring for and serving others, and have tried—and succeeded—in making their parts of our world better places, and they continue to do so. 

Dr. Buck worked at Armstrong State University for nearly four decades as Vice President of Student Affairs before having a second career as School Board President for Savannah-Chatham Public School System. Savannah businessman Don Kole has been an active community leader throughout the years and, most recently, opened the Savannah African Art Museum. And former Colonial Oil employee and St. Vincent’s basketball coach Herbie Griffin is known by generations of students simply as “Coach,” and still plays golf twice a week…even at 100 years old!

This is the fifth year that we have honored community legends, and it got me thinking (again!) about what makes a life well lived. Here are just a few of the ways I think we can achieve such success (consider these “pointers from Patti)!

Never stop learning. Think about some of the most interesting people you know. They’re probably also some of the most curious. They ask questions, want to know how things work, and are excited to learn new technologies. They continually read or travel to new places to explore different cultures.  

Pick a career that fills your soul, not just your bank account. Yes, money is necessary, but how do you find a career that is rewarding and filling? This is especially important after two plus years of the pandemic and constant news stories about the Great Resignation and the labor shortage. You should be somewhere you feel invested and valued, not vacant and futile.

Find a best friend. Be a best friend. Do you have someone you can count on, someone you can call in the middle of the night, someone who accepts you for who you are…no matter what? Hold on to them and be a best friend back to them! This may be your childhood friend, someone you met recently, or your spouse, but nothing can replace relationships like this.  

Control what you can and let go of what you cannot. Epictetus, a Greek philosopher, said, “We have no power over external things, and the good that ought to be the object of our earnest pursuit is to be found only within ourselves…Make the best use of what is in your power and take the rest as it happens.” Profound words, especially when you consider he was born a slave. This is easier said than done, but is essential to living a life of peace.

Follow your passion. It’s been said that passions are the gears that turn the engine of life. I believe that our passion is who we are at our most authentic self. What lights your fire and where can you plug in? Passions challenge, motivate, and intrigue us. When we engage our passion, it’s like investing in ourselves. And every time we put love and energy into something, I have faith we will be rewarded.

Are you interested in knowing more about what makes a life well lived? Do you want to learn more about how others have built legendary lives of leadership? Come join us on Friday, May 20, when we celebrate Joe, Don, and Herbie at the Fifth Annual Legends, Leaders, and Life Well Lived Award Luncheon. Their journeys will inspire us all.  

Patti Lyons is president of Senior Citizens, Inc., a nonprofit organization in Savannah and coastal Georgia that has been helping people age successfully since 1959. She serves as the chair on the Meals on Wheels America Board and is a governor’s appointee to the Georgia Council on Aging. For more information about the Legends, Leaders, and Life Well Lived Award and Luncheon, call SCI at (912) 236-0363 or visit our website: www.seniorcitizensinc.org/legends.

This article originally appeared in the April 22, 2022 issue of The Skinnie.