Come Together: The Power of Community as We Age

At the end of August, Meals on Wheels America (for whose board I serve as chair) held its annual conference, this time (and for the first time) virtually. On the final day, keynote speaker Shola Richards, a best-selling author, led a lively and inspiring session on ways to stay positive during a crisis. He shared with us an African proverb that I have kept close to heart ever since:

“If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.”

In a year that has forced us to be alone and apart in more ways than one, this adage may seem quaint, unfeasible, and downright old-fashioned. However, in addition to being the fourth and final column of successful aging, community is the only way we will survive this pandemic and thrive when it is nothing more than a memory. 

Unfortunately, even in the best of times, isolation is all too often a way of life for older adults. The ties that bind us—and help us build trust, connection, and participation—tend to dissipate as we age. We retire from jobs, children grow up and move away from home, and we inevitably lose friends and spouses to death and illness. All of these losses correlate to reduced social contacts and stimulation, which certainly impacts our mental and physical health. 

The data is undeniable. According to a study from the Rush Alzheimer’s Disease Center in Chicago, the rate of cognitive decline is 70 percent less in those with frequent social contact compared to those with low social activity. In fact, those with more frequent social activity had lower levels of disability in several areas, suggesting they can live longer independently than their less social counterparts. And those who live in more socially active neighborhoods are 10 to 22 percent more likely to get screened at the recommended times, which often translates to earlier diagnoses and treatments.  

In fact, community was the common thread between the three recipients of Senior Citizens, Inc.’s 2020 Legends, Leaders, and Life Well Lived Award. While this year’s honorees all took disparate paths in their lives, their dedication and passion were analogous. Eric Meyerhoff, an architect, transformed the City of Savannah with his signature buildings—including our most famous community gathering spot, Rousakis Plaza. Arnold Tenenbaum, a businessman and philanthropist, believed that only true successful improvement in a community came from bringing people together and connecting them. And Delores J. Washington, an educator, advocated first for her students and then for her fellow teachers to actualize their full potential, all underpinned with the mantra of helping build community. 

While we were saddened to lose Mr. Tenenbaum and Mr. Meyerhoff earlier this year and to have to postpone our in-person celebration due to COVID-19, upon further reflection, I can’t think of a better time than the middle of a pandemic to celebrate and learn from our three honorees. After all, seniors have a lifetime of experience. They have survived the Great Depression, World War II, the tumult of the Civil Rights movement, and the Great Recession. They know a thing or two about enduring change, handling life’s adversity, and establishing resilience. And, like our honorees, they understand that each of us, regardless of age, need community and have a responsibility to it as well.

So, how do you get involved in your community, especially when we need to be careful and distant? Here are just a few suggestions:

Identify your passion. 

This is step one. Eric Meyerhoff was passionate about our built environment. Arnold Tenenbaum wanted to bring people to the table and serve as a connector. And Delores Washington knew that if students could unlock the mysteries of reading, they could accomplish anything. What lights your fire and where can you plug in?

Stay connected. 

There are ways to do so without compromising your health. Call your neighbors and check on them, or meet up for a socially distant walk. Use technology to video chat with friends or family to ease their anxiety and offer support. As the adage goes, we are all in this together. 

Volunteer. 

You can serve your community, whether it’s virtually or in person. Many of our Meals on Wheels volunteers are older adults themselves, and they enjoy being able to safely connect with others by delivering lunchtime meals (touch-free, of course!) and offering friendship and conversation. Other nonprofits and churches offer ways to volunteer from home, whether it’s serving as a friendly caller or digital advocate.

Get churched. 

Older adults who have been lifelong churchgoers know that the social connections built within the walls of a church provide a strong network of support. In pre-COVID times, those connections could look like helping out with a Sunday school class, bringing after-service treats, or attending a small group study. With modern technology, many of those connections can continue, whether it’s participating in a service; attending Zoom coffee chats, fitness classes, or devotions; or signing up to receive daily affirmations and meditations via email.

Engage in lifelong learning. 

Joining a book club, playing an instrument, or enrolling in humanities-based courses at The Learning Center have all proven to slow age-related cognitive decline, but the benefits don’t end there. While you’re building knowledge, you’re also building community, even if it’s a virtual community at the moment. Dr. Ipsit Vahia, director of geriatric outpatient services for the Harvard-affiliated McLean Hospital, said, “It is easy to become more socially isolated as people grow older. A class makes you interact and communicate with other people on a regular basis through group participation, conversations, and discussions.”

Although older citizens are oftentimes viewed as the ones needing services, know that you have a lot to offer in whatever way you choose to engage with your community. Having a sense of meaning and purpose positively impacts both physical and mental health, whether it’s reducing stress, improving coping mechanisms, or promoting healthy behaviors. And ultimately, your legacy will lie at the intersection of community and purpose. 

For Ms. Washington, that nexus was discovered between her life’s work, teaching children, and her passion, reading. She embraced the philosophy that students could succeed if they mastered the art of reading whether they were rich or poor or black or white. She ingrained in them a belief in service.  

One of those students, Gator Rivers, became a Harlem Globetrotter but his success did not stop there. He regularly and faithfully volunteered at our Ruth Byck Adult Day Health Center (which is temporarily closed during this time of COVID-19), where he patiently taught older adults how to spin a ball on their finger. He remembered the lessons of Ms. Washington, who taught him that no matter what he did, he was obligated to give back. 

What he and Ms. Washington and those who give back to their communities know is this: the actions of individuals have far-reaching effects. By giving to others, we get back a life well-lived. 

This article, written by Patti Lyons, originally appeared in Volume 18, #21 of The Skinnie.