Making the Holidays Merry and Bright
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. At least that’s how the Andy Williams holiday song went, right? And while our idea of the season probably conjures up images of snuggling by the fireplace, sipping on hot cocoa, and spending quality time with friends and family, the reality can be much different. The sheer number of activities, the amount of decadent food, and the shifting of schedules can put strain on everyone, especially older adults.
As President of Senior Citizens Inc., I am often asked for suggestions for making the holidays as bright as possible for our older adults. The holidays are indeed a time of fun, family, and friendships but they can also be overwhelming with all of the activities, gift buying, and traditions. As we get older, these long lists of “to dos” can be daunting.
Below are some tips for not only surviving but savoring this time of year.
Set realistic expectations. As mentioned previously, the reality doesn’t always quite match up to the idealized vision swimming in our heads. The holidays are romanticized and viewed through the lens of movie magic. However, for most families, things don’t always go as planned. They bring stress and sometimes conflict. However, setting realistic expectations can help you become more flexible and enjoy. Learn to live in the moment instead of comparing your mess to others’ Instagrammable happy holidays.
Decide what is really important. Take a few moments to separate what is essential to a meaningful holiday versus what is expected, and say no if you start to feel overwhelmed. The key is to keep those traditions that bring you true moments of joy. And don’t be afraid to start new traditions or modify the old ones. Be creative! Instead of making cookies for everybody in the neighborhood, make one batch and invite the neighbors over for coffee and a few cookies. I guarantee that the event will be just as full of meaning and joy.
Lighten up. Look, no one wants to be the Grinch who stole the holiday cookies or the boozy egg nog. It’s okay to indulge while still remaining mindful. If you have a restricted diet, be sure to nosh on healthy snacks pre-party (or even take some with you) so you won’t be as tempted. And if you’re hosting others, ask your guests about their dietary needs in advance and modify elements of the meal you’re serving. Check your prescriptions for any dietary restrictions they may have such as alcohol consumption and food interactions. It’s possible to lighten the menu (without resorting to rabbit food) and still enjoy yourself.
Acknowledge that things may have changed. We’ve all experienced a lot of change since the start of the pandemic. If you or a loved one’s health has changed dramatically over the year and there are some limitations, talk to your family prior to the gathering and prepare them. This will reduce stress and embarrassment for everyone concerned and allow time to modify activities and expectations. Remember that it’s ok to scale back, but don’t do nothing. Being with others always helps with handling the expected ups and downs.
Recognize signs of seasonal depression. The Centers for Disease Control estimate that 7 million adults over the age of 65 experience depression during the holidays. One way to boost your spirits is by seeking out community, religious, or other social events and finding ways to plug in. Maybe it’s by delivering Meals on Wheels to others less fortunate or maybe it’s by distributing gifts to underprivileged children. However, if symptoms such as feelings of hopelessness and loneliness, sleep disruption, or angry outbursts persist, be sure to consult a medical professional.
Maintain your schedule and routine. We all know a routine is imperative when it comes to medications, but studies have also shown they can reduce stress and anxiety; enhance feelings of safety and security; and aid in better sleep. Routines, however, also tend to go out the window during the hustle and bustle of parties, family visits, and fun activities. Build in adequate rest time following a particularly energy-expending event and for those ever-important medication reminders, utilize calendar reminders, alerts, and alarms.
Get adequate sleep. Contrary to popular opinion, older adults don’t need less sleep than their younger counterparts. Most healthy people age 65 or older need seven to eight hours of sleep each night to feel rested and alert. However, the aging process, chronic health conditions, and medications can disrupt sleep. In turn, sleep deprivation can affect mood, memory, and cognition. Also learn to recognize the signs of fatigue in yourself and others. You don’t have to lie down (although who doesn’t love a good nap?) Just sit down for a few minutes or even better, go sit in the sun. A recent study at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine found that a few minutes of direct sunlight rejuvenates our bodies better than a nap!
Rethink the gift giving. As the saying goes, it’s the thought that counts! If funds are limited, make someone’s favorite dessert. Suggest a coffee date to mark the holiday, rather than a more expensive lunch or dinner. If you are buying for an older adult, give practical gifts. Unless someone has expressed that they really want that Hummel figurine, stick to gifts that are useful. Offer to run errands, plan an outing to a favorite place, buy a membership to The Learning Center of Senior Citizens, Inc., or arrange for Meals on Wheels to visit each day with lunch.
Or consider making a gift to someone who might not be sharing the holidays with families and friends. Our community has many excellent nonprofit organizations that can offer suggestions and even assist with delivery. This is the perfect gift for someone who “has everything” or for remembering a loved one. Best of all, it’s a great way to ensure that everyone’s holiday will be merry and bright!
Patti Lyons is president of Senior Citizens, Inc., a nonprofit organization in Savannah and coastal Georgia that has been helping people age successfully since 1959. She serves as the chair on the Meals on Wheels America Board and is a governor’s appointee to the Georgia Council on Aging. Learn more at www.seniorcitizensinc.org.
This article originally appeared in the November 26, 2021 issue of The Skinnie.